networking

Listening is an often ignored skill with equally ignored strategies of engagement. The first step to understanding the best listening strategies to employ during a conversation is understanding the goals behind having the conversation. In “Listening Is A Skill That Requires A Strategy” we provided the first step to finding your strategy by identifying the four types of conversations:

1. Information exchanges
2. Building working relationships
3. Feeling good
4. Making someone feel good

According to Mindtools.com’s article Active Listening: Hear What People Are Really Saying: “. . . we remember a dismal 25-50% of what we hear.” So understanding how to listen and the best strategies to listening comprehension are very important.

The next step in the process is understanding the set of choices you face when holding a conversation; the most basic choice is whether to talk or listen. As explained in Bruce Wilson’s great article Strategies for Business Listeners: “Your mission is to identify, and support, your goals for having this particular conversation in the first place.”

Choices in Conversation

The most basic choice is whether you talk or you listen. Beyond that basic choice are three more choices: Do you focus? Do you clarify? Do you listen attentively? Let’s examine each one.

1. When You Talk: Focus

a.) No Focus: This simply means you say what comes to mind without any plan or prior thought. The results of this behavior can be a free flow of information but at a cost. The cost is often severe if the speaker says something inaccurate, offensive, or monipolizes conversation time.

b.) Yes Focus: Plan what you are going to say. Understand the appropriate amount of detail to include. Deliver your message in a succinct brief summary in order to make the point without wasted effort.

2. When You Talk: Clarify

a.) No Clarification: You are guessing what is important to your partner in conversation. There are two problems here. First you may be wasting your partner’s time and yours. Second you may ramble on and begin to monopolize the time in the conversation.

b.) Yes Clarification: Before launching into unknown territory, ask permission of your conversation partner.

Do You Listen Attentively ?

Yes: You give your full attention by removing any distractions. In addition you should provide body language, eye contact, and gestures of affirmation in order to let your partner know you are listening.

No: If you answered “no”, you can do one of two things:

Partial listening: This is a bad choice because you often end up understanding half the message, possibly offending your partner, or you miss a vital piece of their message creating a misunderstanding of the message.

Ask Permission: Ask to reschedule your conversation to a time when you will be able to focus your full attention on the conversation.

Listening is defined by Princeton.edu as the “act of hearing attentively.” BizJobs.com supports a business glossary definition that states that Listening is “a key selling skill, in that without good listening skills the process of questioning is rendered totally pointless.” From these definitions come the need to recognize one factor that is so often ignored it leads to a breakdown in the process of conversation: listening requires a strategy. Before you can choose a strategy, you must first understand your goals in a conversation.

Strategy #1 Define Your Goals

Often times before we enter a conversation we understand, due to the setting or people involved, the purpose of conversation we are about to engage in. Due to this advanced knowledge, it is best to define your goal(s) in having the conversation. This recognition will help you choose the best listening strategy for the situation.

4 Purposeful Types of Conversations

The following purposes for having a conversation were outlined by Bruce Wilson editor of businesslistening.com:

1. Exchange Information: these conversations are about discovering what a person “needs, or is offering.” You may be probing in order to understand whether you have synergy, “complementary offerings or needs.” As Bruce states “part of the exchange of information is often about whether someone accurately understood what they heard.”
2. Building Working Relationships: developing and maintaining a positive business connection or positive personal relationship can be a very important factor of an ongoing business relationship. Examples of these instances are “customer-supplier conversations, employer-employee conversations, networking conversations, and team communications.
3. Feeling Good: this is simply the act of conversing with someone in a productive and/or enjoyable exchange. As Bruce notes, these purposeful conversations “can be a key component of having a good day or even a good job.”
4. Make Someone Feel Good: whether you have a vested interest in a friend or business associates’ “state of mind”, good conversations can have a positive effect on others around you, bring them joy and solidify your position as a valued connection.

In my last post I described how Susan and I are establishing our branding through networking within the community. The idea is to network with a variety of groups, organizations, firms, non profits, and charities in an effort to support our community and raise awareness of our products and services.

I identified what networking is and the best method to networking success: giving value. The following are 5 tips to help you identify what you have to offer that others would find valuable.

5 Tips to Finding Your Value “Give”

1. Make a list of your accomplishments: Don’t be shy in this exercise. Give a full list with details.
2. Make a list of your contacts of influence: Prioritize this list by who you know best and who knows you.
3. List your skill sets: Again do not be shy. Provide everything that is important to building your career.
4. From the first three lists: Analyze and choose what you believe to be the most valuable things you can give to your potential networking partners.
5. Create a plan on how to deliver: Will you utilize a blog or begin a public speaking platform to help benefit your potential networking partners? Identify all of the channels in which you can deliver your value.

One of the most intricate and important parts of creating your new life or career is producing an action plan. In Susan Hanshaw’s Inner Architect: How To Build The Life You Were Designed To Live”, Phase 4 Creating Your Plan contains the tools to begin the process. The best tool to get started is Step 15 “Outline Your Training Process.”

Marketing Through Networking

One of the fastest and most effective methods to begin meeting people in the niche you wish to build your new career or life is via real world networking events and meetings

Webgrrls International

A great example of outlining your training process can be found at the networking group Webgrrls.com. Webgrrls provides meetings and events with the following benefits:

1. Networking: you meet people in your niche
2. Introductions: you give your 1 minute “elevator” pitch a mini marketing message business plan
3. Practice: you hone your public speaking skills by participating
4. Support: members support each other’s goals and help bring ideas forward
5. Synergy: many members have synergy within their action plans and training plans

5 Steps For Identifying Your Training Process

In Susan Hanshaw’s exercise you are given a practical method of evaluating your training process:

1. Get Clarity: Define details of your service or product, develop a profile of your job description, and list your job duties
2. Identify Areas for Development: review your job duties and list specific areas for development
3. Research: find training opportunities, options for training and learning, don’t limit your path to education
4. Buy In: Choose training programs that resonate with you, that excite you, and commit your efforts 100% to that program(s)
5. Complete Training and Credentials: realize your training will require concentration and sacrifice. Focus on the rewards of training rather than your sacrifices

Webgrrl Attendees With Expertise

1. Nelly Yusupova: Founder Digitalwoman.com a successful a website development and Internet consultant practice started in March, 2004. Nelly is also the CTO for Webgrrls.com and Manhattan chapter president. Contact Nelly Yusupova at nelly@cgim.com

2. Naomi Most: Naomi is the talented producer behind LittleMovingPictures.com and a well versed programmer with experience in Python, Perl, PHP, SQL, XML, C/C++. Naomi’s company is so busy and expanding that they are looking for a wide variety of professionals from copywriters to engineers. Contact Naomi at naomi@littlemovingpictures.com

3. Beth Rogozinski: Director, Marketing Communications for devicescape.com the leader in software for secure and seamless WiFi internet access. Beth has 10+ years of experience in Public Relations, media relations, media event marketing and planning. Contact Beth for all of your enterprise or individual WiFi access needs beth@devicescape.com

4. Erin Clark: Account Manager Eastridge InfoTech a technology staffing firm in San Francisco. Erin is a vibrant and well connected human capital facilitator who matches talented technologist with their desired positions. A active member of ebig.com and thinkhdi.com, Erin is a market leader and go-to source of information. Contact Erin at eclark@eastridgeinfotech.com

5. Gayle Uchida: Business Development Manager Gayle is a joy to meet and learn from in her work with Lighthouse-sf.com. Lighthouse For The Blind is a non profit organization focussed on education and awareness effecting the vision impaired community. Gayle has over 20 years experience in Silicon Valley as a business development executive and marketing professional. Contact Gayle at guchida@lighthouse-sf.org